Uncle Orson Reviews Everything: My Own Very Special One-Car Accident
I know that my vote in the Midterm Elections is absolutely pivotal. I never believed that before....
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Search Results for: "uncle orson"
Uncle Orson Reviews Everything: June 7, 2019
If you work crossword puzzles, you get used to certain words that get used over and over because they combine well with the words that intersect with them. For instance, the word “ape.” Now, there’s nothing wrong with “ape” when you define it as “Chimp, e.g.” or “Orang or Gibbon.”
Read MoreUncle Orson Reviews Everything: June 6, 2019
Biopics — biographical movies — are devilishly hard to do well. Especially when everybody knows the subject of the movie.Then, if you really want to practically guarantee a botched job, you do a biopic of a singer. Then your lead actor not only has to nail the appearance and manner of the subject, he also has to singlike him. (Or you try to lip-sync the recordings you have of the real person, which always looks kind of awful.)
Read MoreUncle Orson Reviews Everything: May 22, 2019
Here’s why screenwriters should do whatever they can to work in television instead of movies.The movie Booksmartlooks like a great high school comedy. Filthy language, lots of sexual innuendo and teasing, probably, because that’s where things are going in that genre, especially when it’s about empowering women, but it’s still a movie that I plan to see.
Read MoreVery Short Uncle Orson Reviews Everything: April 25, 2019
Since, judging from the hype, The Avengers: Endgame is not just the only new movie in the world this weekend, it may turn out to be the only movie ever made, I would like to mention that my wife and I went to see the sole movie that didn’t look awful (that we hadn’t already seen) and to our surprise, we both enjoyed Shazam inordinately.
Read MoreUncle Orson: Nov. 1, 2018
There are certain staples of fantasy writing that must certainly have been done to death by constant repetition, and dragons must certainly be among them. Yet just as you think dragon books have become too passé to be worth reading, something comes along to change your mind
Read MoreUncle Orson’s Perfect Movie List: Part I
I’ve been writing this column in the Rhino Times since January of 2002, and I haven’t missed a week. In that time I’ve reviewed a lot of movies, old and new. But it came to me a few months ago that I wanted to compile a list of...
Read MoreAuthor Takes Issue with Uncle Orson’s Review
Editor’s Note: In Orson Scott Card’s Jan. 4 Uncle Orson Review Everything, Card wrote about My Cousin Vinny as well as the sequal, Back to Brooklyn. Back to Brooklyn’s author, Larry Kelter, was unhappy with the content and...
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Rhino Moving to the Web
Back in May of 2013, after the last issue of The Rhinoceros Times had been produced and delivered, I received a call from Roy Carroll. I was getting a lot of calls from conservatives in the area, so I didn’t think much about this one and have to admit that I didn’t return it promptly.
Read MoreRhino Shorts: Nov. 15, 2018
For fans of Rhino Shorts, rest assured the online Rhino Times will continue to publish Rhino Shorts, but they will be posted as they are written throughout the week. Under the Hammer will also be posted throughout the week.
Read MoreThe Sound of the Beep: Oct. 25, 2018
Thank you for the article on the election by Uncle Orson in the Oct. 18 issue. I wish everyone could read it before they vote. It was so logical and informative. Thank you, Rhino Times. What would we do without you?
Read MoreThe Sound of the Beep: Oct. 18, 2018
I was at my job at Gate City Boulevard on hurricane Thursday. A little bit after lunch, the Rhino Times delivery guy came and cleaned up the area, got rid of the old ones, replaced the new issues. He noticed me, came over. Give...
Read MoreDrain the Oceans, Chris Pratt, Barb, Ozzie’s
In Parks and Recreation, we first met Chris Pratt as Andy Dwyer, the soft-bodied free-loading doofus who for some reason had managed to acquire Ann Perkins (Rashida Jones) as his girlfriend. We had no trouble understanding why...
Read MoreFallen Kingdom, Probiotics, Bull
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is an exciting adventure movie, with perilous monsters that are striking far closer to home than some distant island populated with tourists. Have we seen all these dinosaurs before? Of course we...
Read MoreThe Sound of the Beep: June 14, 2018
I don’t live in Greensboro. Actually, I don’t even live in Guilford County. But I get the most entertainment out of reading the Rhino Times. I knew when the last City Council election was held it was just going to be a great...
Read MoreLast Movie Star, Zona, Beet Kvass
The most powerful reviews are not the ones you read. The reviews that lead us to action are the oral critiques spoken aloud by friends. I’m pretty impervious to written reviews, which is ironic, given that I hope people will...
Read MoreGas Station Futures, Family Singing, Blockers
In a recent What’s New Now mailing from PC Magazine, editor Dan Costa made an interesting point. If, in the not-so-distant future, most cars are electric, it might have some unexpected consequences – because most electric car...
Read MoreThe Oscars, Hair, Night Moves, Phenomena
Sunday night, and my wife was getting home from a trip to join with her parents in celebrating her mom’s 90th birthday. Our two daughters also flew from Seattle and Los Angeles to join her, and they had a great couple of days....
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Rhino Shorts: Jan. 18, 2018
I’m doubling down on my complaints about traffic lights in Greensboro. While most people wisely...
Read MoreMini Waffle Makers, Vinny, Jedi Redux
Here’s a Christmas gift success this year: Sur La Table offered tiny red waffle irons for something like ten bucks – or less. The price was so low that I assumed half of them would blow up as soon as they were plugged in....
Read MoreDec. 28, 2017 Sound of the Beep
The dim-rats in this country do everything in their power to destroy the economy of the nation when we have a Republican president. Chuck and Nancy have one thing: The tax cut is for the rich. Taxes are like labor and material...
Read MoreDec. 21, 2017 Sound of the Beep
For all of you foolish Trump supporters, I mean the law enforcement wires people up to get what other people say, what they really say, really feel, the way they really are on tape for law enforcement. Now, Trump on tape, same...
Read MoreNov. 30, 2017 Sound of the Beep
Scott, I enjoyed your article related to the freestyle voters and the accompanying photo of Zack Matheny, Mickey Mouse, Pinocchio, Elmo, Donald Duck and Sheriff BJ Barnes. Thank you, Loyal Rhino Reader. % % % This is for Uncle...
Read MorePansies, Tech Help, Beats Earphones
We’re finally deep enough into autumn that we’re not likely to have many more days with temperatures above 80 degrees. So it’s time for the changeover from the spring-and-summer annual plants, like petunias and coleus, to our...
Read MoreSept. 28, 2017 Sound of the Beep
I am a big fan of the Rhino Times. Uncle Orson Reviews Everything sometimes has something of interest to me and frequently I’m not interested at all. But this last week’s article from the Sept 14 edition, Third Places in...
Read MoreMay 4, 2017 Sound of the Beep
To paraphrase Hillary Clinton, don’t you think it’s time that France had a woman president? % % % I really appreciate the insight of Orson Scott Card concerning Israel in his column dated April 20. However, I would like to...
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