Author: Carolyn J. Woodruff

Dear Carolyn, The holidays bring a “mixed bag” of feelings about family. My mother is under the care of hospice for end of life care. She is aged 94, and her assisted living home has not had COVID-19. She lives in another state....

Dear Carolyn, I have heard at least two relatives say since Thanksgiving, “I might as well kill myself.” One is an adult male in the restaurant business who has had a hard time in the pandemic. The other is a teen that has...

My husband does international business. He is very secretive about his activities. I heard him talking about a “private key” he has. I overheard him talking about a cold wallet. We are not getting along, and I am afraid he is hiding assets. I’d like to be on top of finding assets. What is he talking about, and how do I find this cold wallet? What should I look for with this private key?

Dear Carolyn, I am a restaurant owner. I separated from my estranged wife June 30, 2019. In going through the separation and divorce process, my lawyer had a business valuation done for the restaurant for June 30, 2019, as the valuation…

I wrote to you a couple of weeks ago because I need an alimony reduction. COVID-19 has impaired my earnings. I have heard that I might get a hearing faster before a judge if the hearing is online, rather than in person. How does that work? Is the courthouse safe with COVID-19? Should I have an online hearing for my alimony reduction? I am still seeking that reduction in alimony.

Dear Carolyn, With COVID-19, my salary has been reduced. I need to get my alimony reduced. I am paying court-ordered alimony of $2,100 per month. I am worried about the tax deduction for alimony if I seek a modification. I heard...

I am a school teacher of small children. The other teachers and I are sharing stories of abuse the children are suffering at home during COVID-19. I just wanted to make you and your readers aware of the violence problem COVID is creating for the most vulnerable among us. What are your thoughts?

My computer is a mess. And I feel like I am being watched through my laptop. I am involved in a divorce. The family used my computer before my husband moved out. Now I have the laptop, and I am using the computer to communicate with my attorney. My attorney has my email address and sends legal documents through the computer. Is my ex-husband able to see these legal documents? Can I be stalked through my laptop?

My divorce is haunting me. I mean, I feel like the house is haunted. Rationally, I do not believe in ghosts, but the spirit of my ex seems to be everywhere I turn in the home where we used to live together. We lived here for 10 years. We built this home together. I took the house in our equitable distribution settlement, thinking it would be the right lifestyle decision, but it has not happened that way. I met a new male friend, and he is not excited about the concept of us living in my “ex’s old house.”

I have been with my significant other since 2007, and he has a daughter that I have thought of as my own. She was 13 when we met, and her mother basically threw her out at the age of 12. She is 26 today, and I still consider myself as her mother due to when she needed advice, money, support or anything she always called on me.

So my husband and I got married without rings because my ring wasn’t ready. My husband bought the rings out of his paycheck after we were married. I was not working. We are now going through a divorce. He still owes on the rings. He filed the divorce because I had to get an emergency order of protection on him, so he filed. Is the ring debt considered marital debt? Are the rings marital or non-marital property?

I am a grandfather with a daughter and three grandchildren under 8. My daughter is age 40. My son-in-law is a similar age. They live in another state. There is a schism with my daughter, and I haven’t seen her for about a year.

My husband moves my keys around the house. I know where I left them, but he says, “No, you didn’t leave them there. I didn’t move the keys.” He also moves other things around like my favorite coffee cup and my cell phone. He then says I am “crazy” when I cannot find these items. I stay home and I feel powerless. He controls the money. I know he is doing these things. What do I do?

My ex hid assets during our marriage and, boy, do I not trust him. I am trying to find them. In looking at our bank statement from the last year of the marriage, I see about $5,000 a month disappear or other mysterious expenses. What can I do to find these assets? I feel defrauded. Why did I ever trust him?

I lost my job. I filed a motion for reduction of my child support, as my unemployment check is inadequate to allow me to live and to pay the ordered amount of child support. I am doing my best, but my best is not enough income right now. When will my motion be heard? I cannot hang on much longer, as my cash reserves are low. Will I be safe at the Greensboro courthouse? I also worry about COVID-19 and public gatherings.

My ex-fiancé and I ended our relationship.  He also took the engagement ring. I’m still paying for the engagement ring on my credit. He hasn’t made a single payment on it and the debt is in my name. He won’t give it back. Is there anything I can do?

The domestic violence protective order (DVPO) filed against me has expired. I have not returned to my home nor have I reached out to my spouse. I was unaware of what was happening until it was too late. But it was only to get possession of our home, which I believe is illegal. With the COVID-19, what should I do now, to make sure that I do not lose my rights and or have it seem as if I have abandoned my home or my property, that is presently in my spouse’s possession (temporary)?

I lost my job due to COVID-19 and now am on unemployment. I am under a child support order to pay the mother of our two children $900 per month and I cannot do it. The money is just not there for now.

How can I possibly navigate custody exchanges and joint parenting during this pandemic? My ex is not adhering to the social distancing. He is having play dates with his girlfriend’s children and my children. Can I get emergency custody away from the father to protect the children from COVID 19?

Dear Carolyn,     I just broke up with my ex boyfriend, and I am worried. My boyfriend has some sexually explicit photos of me (and us) when things were more blissful. How do I get these pictures back? What if my ex puts one of...

I am most concerned about my best girlfriend from college. We both got married, but we have kept in touch with each other. When she started dating the guy she later married, I was concerned about his character. Something just was not right but I could not put my finger on it. Today, I learned what I feared. She is a long-term victim of domestic violence, some incidents serious. One was a broken bone. I’ve even found she has a medical diagnosis of adult abuse and the doctor’s note suggests battered wife syndrome. What is this battered wife syndrome? What should I expect? How can I help my friend?

Dear Carolyn, What a stressor the holiday was! I have two sons, who are ages 4 and 7. While this should be a blessed time for all the holiday fanfare, it isn’t, and why? The 7-year-old believes that I favor the 4-year-old. And,...

Dear Carolyn: I have a case going on with the Guilford County Department of Social Services. The social worker advised me not to get an attorney – that it would be worse for me if I got an attorney and that I don’t need one...

Dear Carolyn: I am thinking about separating from my wife of 10 years. She is a doctor and makes a lot more money than me. I am a school teacher and make extra money coaching, but she still makes a lot more than me. Neither of...

I am going through a divorce and I am afraid my ex may have taken out credit cards in my name. What can I do?

My husband has a domestic violence protective order (DVPO) on me based on scratches he self-inflicted. He was given possession of our house.

I just read about something that might work in my upcoming separation and divorce. I have two children who are ages eight and ten. We have to sell the marital residence for my husband and me to each buy separate residences.

I am worried about my child’s travel outside the United States this summer. The father, who was born in India, wants to take our child to India. I think travel is a wonderful education, but the child is only six, and I have more concerns than I can write.

My ex and I have a court order regarding alimony to be paid to me every month for a specific period of time. Between 2012 and 2015, he did not pay me any alimony.

I just got a subpoena to testify in a trial. I am not sure how this all goes. What should I do?Carolyn Answers…Testifying is both easy, and hard. The easy part is: tell the truth! The hard part is listening. Yes, I said listening.

I have two childrenages 5 and 8. I am in a divorce. Dad has half time,and I have half time. Theproblem is screens. I disagree with the way Dad allows the 5- and 8-year olds to use screens. There are virtually no restrictions. The 5-year-old is gaining weight from lack of physical activity.

My ex, the mother of my child, and I are in child custody mediation. Our son is age four, andhe is rambunctious, to say the least. I would like for our parenting agreement to include a provision requiring that neither parent can use corporal punishment, i.e.,spanking.

Dear Carolyn,I caught my teen son texting me while he was driving our family automobile. That reallyworries me. His father and I are divorced, and I tried to talk to his father about it. However, his father doesoutside sales and uses his cell phone while he is driving. I feel that this is a very bad influence on our son. What are the rules? What should I do?

My mother is elderly and has dementia. My sister is acting as her power of attorney, and of course,has her check book. Now, my sister has has a new car she cannot afford. I think she is stealing money from my elderly mother, or at least scamming her out of the money. What can I do? My sister is greedy and a phony scammer. She is not who she pretends to be in her church.

Dear Readers, This week Ask Carolyn explains why you shouldn’t lie about the date of separation to obtain a divorce. And, what you should do if your divorce is a toxic waste dump.   Dear Carolyn, I had agreed todivorce in...

Dear Readers, The first question addresses bullying, and the second, a family cell phone plan for parenting under two roofs.   Dear Carolyn, I am quite concerned about the shooting in Butler High School, Matthews, North...

Dear Readers, Happy Halloween! Today’s first question addresses the zombie dependency exemption, and the second question, gray re-marriages.

Dear Readers, This week’s topics are theft of a minor’s identity and perfectionist children.     Dear Carolyn, I am going through a separation. I’m the mother of three children all of whom are in elementary school....