Dear Carolyn:

My divorce is haunting me. I mean, I feel like the house is haunted. Rationally, I do not believe in ghosts, but the spirit of my ex seems to be everywhere I turn in the home where we used to live together. We lived here for 10 years. We built this home together. I took the house in our equitable distribution settlement, thinking it would be the right lifestyle decision, but it has not happened that way. I met a new male friend, and he is not excited about the concept of us living in my “ex’s old house.”

I read this article about cleansing the house with sage. Could you help me? What do you suggest?


Carolyn Answers:

I regularly hear the complaint you are voicing. Economically, keeping a house is frequently wise. There are costs to selling a home such as Realtor fees and moving costs. And the furniture you probably so carefully picked out for this home may not fit the next house. Years later, I think people frequently regret keeping “the house.”

There is an emotional cost for many in keeping the house. Some feel, at least at first, that keeping the house is a sign of “winning.” A haunted house may be in the eyes of the beholder.

You interestingly mention sage. I think you are referring to the ritual of sage smudging. Burning sage is associated with cleansing, wisdom, clarity and awareness. There are many articles on ridding a dwelling of bad energy and vibes with sage smudging. did a fascinating article describing how to do this that is available online.

If burning sage in your home would be symbolic for you, give it a try. Let me know how this turns out.



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