A birthday for most children is an elaborate occasion with extra attention from parents, tons of friends and most of all a lot of gifts. However, the special day of a six-year-old boy in Tucson, Arizona, turned gloomy when none of his friends arrived at the venue. Teddy, who invited 32 of his classmates at a Peter Piper Pizza restaurant, was left sad when not even a single one showed up. His mother, Sil Mazzini, was left heartbroken when she saw little Teddy sitting all by himself on the big table.


                 – Indian Express, Oct. 25, 2018




Well, 2018 has been absolutely flying by – perhaps faster than any year on record for some reason I’m not sure of – and, as people on Facebook have been pointing out frequently, there are only eight more Fridays before Christmas, so you’d better hurry up and get your shopping done.

Since you don’t have much time and it’s almost Christmas, I thought that this week I would give you little bite-sized stocking stuffer columns that you could read quickly on the fly.

Merry Christmas …


Given what happened to Megyn Kelly, I guess the new rule is this: You can never, ever, say anything whatsoever in any way, shape or form regarding race. You cannot mention the issue or come near it with a 900-foot pole.

In fact, I had better get off this subject quick right here because I’ve already said way too much for my own safety.


Who would have ever, in a million years, thought that the guy who was sending bombs to Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton would turn out be the guy that was driving around town in a van plastered with stickers all over the sides of Obama and Clinton with rifle targets imposed over their heads? I mean, how could you ever have guessed that was the same guy?

The FBI and other agencies say they caught the mail bomber so fast through hard detective work and with fingerprint and DNA analysis. But I’ll bet how it really happened is that two FBI agents were standing on a street corner near that mail center in Florida saying how baffled they were about the case and how it would probably drag on for years like the Unabomber case did, and then this van drove by and one of the agents turned to the other and said: “Oh, OK. Thank God.”


Well, by now everyone has heard the story of the sad little Arizona boy, Teddy, who invited 32 of his friends to his birthday party but every single one was a no show. It is a sad story; however, after people found out about it, a great deal of love and affection started coming in for the little boy and he was suddenly in for a string of fantastic surprises. For instance, he got swamped by the entire Phoenix Suns cheerleading squad, who gathered all around him wished him a very happy birthday and hung out with him to cheer him up.

I am sad to say that, recently, I, too, had a birthday party for myself planned at a local pizza parlor and I invited a bunch of people – but, sadly, as you can see in the picture, not one person showed. I was so devastated.

If any pro or semi-pro cheerleading squads need to contact the Rhino Times to arrange any surprises, the paper can be reached at (336) 763-4170.


When I drive, rather than look at the road and at the signs and traffic lights, I focus on the license plates of the cars around me, and, when they are interesting, I take iPhone pictures of them while I’m driving. I encourage you to do the same and send me the pictures of the interesting license plates you find.

The North Carolina Department of Motor Vehicles usually does a pretty good job of vetting all the personalized plates that people requests for their cars; for instance, the agency attempts to filter out and reject any requests that are sexually suggestive. But, like I said, I’ve been paying attention to the license plates of everyone I get behind lately, and I can tell you that some of them slip through. Here’s one that slipped past the license plate censors …


Can you figure that out? If not, ask a friend. It’s not very hard.

Here’s a list of some others I’ve seen around town that are interesting for one reason or another.


ZZZOOMM. (This one is kind of clever but – hey, buddy, good luck talking that cop out of a speeding ticket.)

On the other hand, this next plate seems much wiser to me …


Then there are the annoying Tarheel fans who pull for the same school as wife- and child-killer Chris Watts and proudly display that fact on their cars.



There are lots of other interesting plates out there as well.

RON 18. (I’m not sure about this one but I’m guessing Ron’s rich parents gave him that Lexus when he turned 18, which is a very sweet birthday present indeed.)

#1 NONO. (I know what the #1 no-no for me is, but I’m not sure if this person is referring to the same thing.)

UKNOWWHY. (Actually, I don’t.)

OM SAI OM. (According to the internet, this is some sort of meditation mantra thing.)

LOVE4BIX. (I had just about given up figuring out what this meant, but then I noticed the a “Bix Lives” sticker on the back of the same car, and some internet searching on that phrase let me know that the license plate was referring to Bix Beiderbecke, a jazz musician popular in the ’20s that I’d never heard of. That seems to me to be a pretty strange thing to be obsessing about but I really can’t say anything to this car owner considering the nature of the column I’m going to write next week.)

Anyway, whoever you are driving that car, good for you – whatever floats your boat.

So I finally figured out LOVE4BIX, but this last one is one I saw the other day and I can’t figure out and it’s been driving me crazy. I’ve racked my brain and still have no clue what it’s supposed to be saying.   So I am asking readers for help. Here it is …


If you have any clue on this one, please let me know.


Speaking of the backs of cars, it always seems boastful to me when parents have a “MY CHILD IS A TERRIFIC KID” sticker on the back of their car.

Well, the other day I saw a parent that had not one, but two, ‘MY CHILD IS A TERRIFIC KID” stickers. Now, don’t you think two is a little much? I mean, one sticker says what you are trying to say.

Also, most parents have no absolutely no idea what their kids are actually up to and if you have two of these stickers on your car, in reality that kid is probably like the biggest dealer at the school and is sleeping with his French teacher.

I hate to tell you this but that is really why he’s been staying after school so much to earn all that “extra credit.”