Dubai has tested a Chinese prototype of a self-driving hover-taxi, its transport authority said on Monday, with the aim of introducing the aerial vehicle in the emirate by July.

The EHang 184 can travel on a programmed course at 100 kilometres an hour (60 mph) at an altitude of 300 metres (1,000 feet), the authority said in a statement.

A passenger simply needs to select a destination for the autonomous taxi to take off, fly the route and touch down in the chosen spot monitored by a ground control centre, it said.


             – American Free Press, Feb. 13, 2017


I work for a conservative newspaper so I’m contractually obligated to believe that global warming is a hoax, and therefore I do most certainly believe that. It is a total myth created by Al Gore and his Chinese friends to help push up the price of Gore’s windmill stocks.

And, before I go any further on this point, let me state this clearly and emphatically: There is absolutely nothing unusual at all about mid-February days in Greensboro hitting temperatures in the 80s. That is exactly how it has always been. It was like this when I was growing up in Greensboro years and years ago, and I remember well back then how our whole family would put on our bathing suits and head to the pool on many a hot and sunny February weekend.

So don’t let anyone tell you that this weather is unusual in any way. It is not and global warming is a complete and utter hoax.

But I do have to say that, as hoaxes go, this is one of the more enjoyable hoaxes for sure. I mean, how many other hoaxes allow you to walk around outside in the pit of winter in a T-shirt and shorts with your bare feet in the warm grass? And the Alien Autopsy or the Balloon Boy hoaxes never saved you $140 a month on your heating bill.

The other day I was watching the weather on the local news and the weatherman said, gleefully: “We didn’t just beat the record high today – we shattered it!”

So, hoax or not, I am all for global warming. (Though, granted, I may feel differently if you ask me on a 145-degree day in August.)

Anyway, before I go outside and play in this fantastic mid-February weather, I need to get a few things off of my mind and onto paper …


The other night, I went to see Rings, the second sequel to the amazingly scary 2002 film about the creepy little girl who comes to get you and kills you if you watch a video and don’t show it to someone else.

As I’m sure you are aware, once you watch the video, the phone rings and the scary voice says, “Onnnne weeeeek,” and if you don’t show the video to someone else in seven days, the evil girl named Samara crawls out of your TV screen and kills you in some horrible way.

When I went to see the new one – Rings – at the theater, I had a brilliant idea how to keep Samara from killing me if I were in that situation. The thing that gets me is that I thought of my great idea even though my life wasn’t on the line – but the people in the movie are so dumb that they can’t figure out how to stop her from killing them. It’s sooo easy once you think about it.

The problem is that they are trying to think of ways to kill Samara or to run away from her – but, uh, hello, that clearly can’t be done.

But here’s all you have to do: Get rid of your large-screen TV and get like a 12- or 14-inch TV.

In fact, just get the smallest TV you can find. Then, when the creepy girl with the long stringy hair tries to crawl out of it, she won’t even be able to get her head through!

And she’ll be trying to get through the TV set to kill you and you’ll just be standing there laughing, having a glass of wine or whatever, as she gets more and more ticked off because she can’t get through. You’ll be like, “Ha! Not so scary now are you, little girl. What’s a matter? Can’t get through? Maybe you need to lay off the chocolate pie!”

People, use your thinking caps. Sometimes a little thought is all it takes.


Speaking of the creepy girl from The Ring, watching that movie got me interested in knowing who played the original little girl in the first Ring. So I looked it up, and now I have a fascinating fact you can amaze your friends with.

Do you know who played her? Interestingly, the actress who played the ugly and terrifying Samara was a young Kate Upton – now one of the world’s most beautiful supermodels, and the one who’s currently on the cover of the new Sport’s Illustrated swimsuit issue. Isn’t that amazing?

Now, notice I said that the fact is “amazing,” which is not necessarily the same as “true.”

Two or three years ago, this wouldn’t fly as a fact, but I think these days it is fine. True facts are so 2015, and they are nowhere near as interesting.


I’m just kidding – I’m actually a big fan of the president, but I will say that the election brought me an unintended consequence I didn’t realize: I just got a letter the other day that told me I had to turn in my Obamaphone.


While that’s bad news for me, it is countered this week by fantastic news for the entire world that came out in an American Free Press article. The story said that Chinese drone manufacturer EHang is about to put out the long-awaited flying car.

The first versions of the amazing new marvel will be used to taxi people around Dubai. The flying car is electric, recharges in two hours and it can make trips of up to 30 minutes at a time.

Here are the really exciting quotes of the article I read. Italics are mine. “The autonomous aerial vehicle exhibited at the World Government Summit is not just a model … We are making every effort to start the operation of the autonomous aerial vehicle in July 2017.”

Thank goodness!


It is so thrilling that the flying car is now just around the corner. It is great to see that, after all these decades of waiting, someone is going to bring us the flying car as soon as they get a few remaining kinks worked out. I guess 2017 is the year I will finally have to stop complaining about this. It is great to know the flying car will be out just about any day now.


While I’m trying to give president Trump a chance, the lamestream media most certainly isn’t doing likewise. As the Donald himself will tell you, CNN is one of the major culprits.

Look at this picture I took off of the TV last month right before Trump took office. All day long before Trump’s inauguration, CNN kept this graphic up on the screen: a big doomsday clock in red numbers, counting down the hours until “The End.”

You know, when the clock runs out, Trump takes office and civilization as we know it ends.

In the small print under “The End,” it says it’s a countdown to a news special on the end of the Obama presidency or whatever – but, CNN, we know what you were doing.


I know we all make mistakes from time to time and the Rhino Times is no exception, but I was watching a boxing match from Miami the other night and I had to take a picture of this because it is such a huge glaring mistake. I have no idea how this slipped passed everyone. There must have been a big office party at the banner-making company. In this head-scratcher of a picture, as you can see, the boxing match is coming to you from Miami, Oklahoma. Last time, I checked, Miami was in Florida.

What’s next? Probably there will be signs that say Greensboro is in Alabama, Washington is in North Carolina and Charleston is in West Virginia.


Listen, I thought Lady Gaga did a good job at the Super Bowl this year, but here’s my question: How come they never get Mariah Carey to do the halftime Super Bowl show?


You know this weather is amazing and it’s even more amazing when you consider what the groundhog said earlier this month. Punxsutawney Phil (and, no, I have no idea where he got that crazy name) would no doubt like you to forget this, but I feel compelled to call him out on his prediction. This year, he saw his shadow and predicted, based on that, that we would have six more weeks of winter, which we most certainly did not.

People always go crazy on Groundhog Day because this one groundhog is supposed to be some great weather predictor. On Feb, 2, “Groundhog Day,” turn on the TV any year and the only thing they are talking about all day long is the groundhog and his shadow, and bars have drink specials – and the weathermen on TV are all going nuts because that day is like their Christmas Day. All based on these supposedly great predictions.

So anyway, I did some research into the whole phenomenon and I was just stunned. I checked on our fine furry friend and do you know what his accuracy rate is?

Here’s what I found: “As of 2017, Punxsutawney Phil has made 130 predictions, with an early spring (no shadow) predicted 18 times (15.0 percent). According to Stormfax, as of 2016, the predictions have proven correct 39 percent of the time.

39 measly percent.

Not even better than mere chance. Much worse, in fact. If you flipped a coin you would do a lot better guessing it that way just based on dumb luck.

Now I know that people love Phil and love to celebrate Groundhog Day, but frankly those dismal results over an extended period of time make me question the whole enterprise of formulating long-term weather forecasts based on measurements of the shadow-dispersion of a chubby rodent in some random Pennsylvania town that got the idea from the storyline of a 1993 Hollywood comedy.

Although it certainly seems like, on the surface, that that would be a highly rational and precise way to make meteorological predictions, in the end, as I have pointed out, an objective look at the hard scientific data suggests strongly that it may in fact not be the best method for making weather predictions.


You know, going back to Rings for a second: I wouldn’t worry about that evil girl too much because, if you think about it, I myself watched the video in the movie theater (because they showed the creepy video in the movie) and it just hit me as I’m writing this that it was exactly one week ago tonight that I saw it and nothing at all has happened to me.

So I really don’t think there is anything to … Hey! Oh my goodness!! Who are you!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY