At a Tuesday morning, April 28 meeting of staff with four commissioners, Guilford County Commissioner Alan Branson underwent an interrogation by other commissioners when they noticed at the meeting that he had a very fine-looking freshly-cut head of hair, while county citizens, by law, haven’t been allowed to go to a barbershop in over a month.
Branson came under the intense questioning from fellow commissioners due to his well-kept hair at a time when some others in the room are starting to look like the spectators at Woodstock – only much older and less cool.
Branson was in the meeting in the Blue Room of the Old Guilford County Court House in downtown Greensboro when he met with staff along with Commissioners Skip Alston, Alan Perdue and Chairman of the Board of Commissioners Jeff Phillips.
“Did you get a haircut, Mr. Branson?” Phillips asked Branson out of the blue during a discussion on environmental spills, instantly making staff, other commissioners and media in the room notice that Branson’s hair looked much, much better than anyone else’s. Barbers and hairstylists, of course, offer “non-essential” services and that activity was banned by a vote of the Board of Commissioners in light of the coronavirus pandemic. The county’s order has expired but a similar state order is still in effect.
An amused Branson shook his well-styled head.
“Dollar General, baby – they’ve got clippers for $10,” he said.
Fellow commissioners were not convinced.
“You didn’t do the back there did you?” Alston grilled.
Branson said that he had been noticing other people’s hair on social media sites and said that he told himself, “You need to make sure you don’t have none of that going on back there.”
“It’s just an observation,” Phillips said.
Perdue and county staff did not seem to buy it, however, Branson was and is sticking to his story.
Alston told the room that he, Alston, had recently had a haircut, though no one believed him since he is bald – or, at least has very, very few hairs on his head.
Guilford County Attorney Mark Payne clearly has been adhering to the law. He currently has as full a head of hair as he’s had in his decade-plus career with the county.
Though haircuts are currently banned due to social distancing rules, some outlaw barbers and hairstylists have been coming to people’s houses and cutting their hair in the backyard, or have been seeing preferred customers in secret in other places.
Dollar General’s website does confirm that the store offers hair clippers for sale – with one version coming in at $11.
No investigation of the matter is anticipated.
So dumb! These are the people in control.
If Branson was the president, the Democrats in the House would form a committee to investigate, call witnesses, and conclude that this was a “high crime or misdemeanor”, vote to impeach and send it to the Senate! Glad we can all just get a little laugh and move on.
How petty, or is this article just for fun. My wife trimmed around my ears, eyes, and neck with a pair of scissors. She has grey roots now, does food color work? Would anyone like to come by and check?
It was just for fun.
I got my clippers at Walmart for around $20. I cut my own hair with the help of ex-wife for years back in the 90’s. Stuff like that can be done with very little effort.