Jurski also is accused of following Perry along her Witness tour, making stops in Orlando, Tampa, Atlanta, Chicago and Grand Rapids. He also tried to make contact with her at two shows in Canada.

– Pagesix.com

They say a picture is worth a thousand words and, if that’s true, then this is probably a 15,000 or so word column – making it the longest column I’ve ever written in my decade and a half with the Rhino Times.

It hit me last week that, for all that time, I’ve written my columns using words, just like I’m doing now; but, by doing that, I realized, my column can only be enjoyed by people who are able to read – and therefore, in a way, I have been discriminating against people who can’t read, or can’t read English in particular or simply don’t like to read.

So, this week, in the spirit of universal harmony and inclusion among the literati and illiterati alike, my column is for the most part told in pictures rather than words – which is one reason I need to stop typing all these boring black and white words right now and get quickly to the exciting and colorful pictures that contain all the pizazz …

My extended family has this ugly couch that they have passed around for years because no one wants to use it or store it.

My mother kept asking me if I wanted it, and I was like, “Well, I don’t want it right now, but I might later if I suddenly become an 80-year-old Appalachian grandmother who’s into glaring floral patterns.”

It is like the kind of couch you might see out in front of a hillbilly gas station.

Anyway, the whole family was thrilled when my nephew Parker asked if anyone had an extra couch he could use for his college room. It was a free couch that keeps your rear off the ground, so who cares what it looks like if you are a college kid? And he took it to college and wrote back, “Thanks so much for letting me use this – it fits great.”

We didn’t think things could get any more hideous than the couch alone, so we were amazed when he sent back this picture.

I promise you that I am trying to stop writing about the debate over the name change of Piedmont Triad International Airport to Central North Carolina International, but, for some reason, I simply can’t stop. It is like an addiction.

Anyway, the airport people didn’t give the citizens a chance to vote on the matter, but recently News 2 did. As you can see in this picture, 79 percent of those voting wanted to keep the name the same, 19 percent wanted “Greensboro” in the name – which, if you add that up, doesn’t leave many people clamoring for Central NC International.

Singer Katie Perry is beautiful and talented so, as you can imagine, she draws a lot of attention.

Well, recently, I saw on Inside Edition that a man was arrested and thrown in the slammer during her tour. Pawel Jurski, a 37-year-old man from Poland, was arrested on felony stalking charges. According to the police reports, Jurski went to six of Perry’s concerts in different cities within 20 days, tried to contact her multiple times, attempted to get backstage and rushed the stage during one concert.

Uh, hello? I think we have a word for that – it’s called a fan.

Listen, I do the exact same thing with Taylor Swift every single time she goes on tour.

I especially like the highly incriminating caption that Inside Edition ran with the picture: “He buys tickets and goes to concerts.”

Oh no! The horror! For goodness’ sake, put him under the jail and throw away the key.

On the first day after the New Year’s Day holiday, I woke up totally determined to eat healthy and stick to my diet.

I told myself that I was simply not going to keep any junk foods in the house or anywhere else around me, so I wouldn’t be tempted.

I came to work that day with my little container of organic salad and lite dressing and went in the Rhino Times break room to see if I could find some plastic silverware.

Here’s what I saw …

 

Anytime Apple makes a new something or other, I have to get one no matter what it is.

Recently, I was alarmed when I went into the Apple store to pick up a new Apple TV. Apple literally had one with my name on it.

I think Apple has realized that I’ve bought every product they’ve made since 1984 and now, every time they make a new product, someone at the company says, “I’m sure Scott Yost wants one – put his name on one, and send it to Greensboro.”

I watched a show last week called I (Almost) Got Away With It, a reality show about criminals operating under the radar of the law.

I was fascinated as I watched some men making moonshine on the show while talking about how not to get caught. I kept thinking: Well for one thing, you should stop letting people film you and broadcast it on TV. (Also, by the way, my advice is to shoot every revenuer who comes near your property.)

Speaking of TV, I normally don’t give a second’s worth of thought to the people in the workroom background of local TV news broadcasts, but I caught this out of the corner of my eye and I moved closer to the TV to make sure I was seeing it right.

I have no idea why the woman in the background has antlers on her head. If this had happened on Dec. 23, it would have made sense, but I took this picture at least two weeks before Christmas.

So, whatever the story is, they may be having a little too much fun down at Fox 8. Just saying …

Now, this very regal looking dog in this next picture has an interesting story.

My sister, Sharon Dente, was in town visiting my father who had a bad case of the flu. This was right after the big snowstorm in January. My sister, father and stepmother decided to make a quick 10-minute trip to the drug store. On the way, they almost hit this lost dog that had wandered out onto West Cornwallis.

Being very good people who care about man’s best friend, they put the dog in the car and drove down a side road, Carlisle, to see if they could find someone who recognized the dog – and when they did, they slid way down the icy road and couldn’t get back out. After being trapped there for a couple of hours, a group of neighbors finally pushed them out but then, as soon as they were off the ice and back on to solid pavement, the car broke down and had to be towed.

It is true what they say: No good deed goes unpunished. The good news is that, thanks to the excellent Nextdoor app, the dog was reunited with its owner so it wasn’t all for naught.

I understand lottery ticket makers are trying to be clever, but lately the tickets are so complicated I never even know if I’ve won or not.

State of North Carolina people, you need to make your lottery tickets less complicated. Lately, the ticket instructions are like, “If there’s a pot of gold and a blue boat above two prime numbers that come out even when added together and divided by three, then you win twice the amount shown under the rabbit’s foot” or whatever. I have a master’s degree in the philosophy of science and I can never ever figure out if my lottery ticket is a winner or not.

Recently, I was glad to get a ticket that I could actually figure out because it only required basic math skills. Still, you shouldn’t have to do addition to know if you won or not. But I guess this is why they call it the North Carolina Education Lottery.

Or maybe they’re just trying to cut down on the percentage of people who claim their winnings. My father got this ingenious idea a while back: He sends all of his tickets in to the state even when he thinks they didn’t win anything, and half the time they send him money back from his winnings.

My friend Jennifer bought Taylor Swift’s new album and sent me a present that came with it, and now this is what’s on my fridge: A Tay-Tay poster right under my “Anything is Possible” magnet.